Stage Fright

“I want to have your baby, Benji,” a woman cried as she ran into the dressing room.

“How did you get in here?” I asked, maneuvering a wooden chair between us. She lunged first to one side and then the other. Desperate, I picked it up and held the legs towards her.

“Sorry, man,” Lou from security ran into the room. He stopped inside the doorway, trying to catch his breath. “She’s fast.”

I continued my unwanted dance with the woman. She was wearing a t-shirt with my picture and hearts on it and her hair an artificial black with silver roots. She has to be older than Mom. “Lou, a little help here, dude.”

The woman slapped at a chair leg for the third time and I lost my grip. It fell blocking Lou’s direct path to us. Before he could stop her, she pounced on me, and we fell in a tangled heap on to the floor. She tried to kiss me.

Another woman screamed from the doorway. “Look up, you two.” A bright flash from the doorway surprised me as the woman on top of me pulled at my pants.

As Lou yanked her off, I heard a rip. I rolled to my knees and then to my feet to get away of them.

“Oh, Benji. You’re so naughty,” said the woman from the doorway. More flashes. The first woman had torn my pants so you could tell there was nothing underneath and on the verge of exposing my jewels.

I wanted a reason to wear baggy drawstring pants and a loose t-shirt. Monica is going to be pissed.

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